Love Me Dearly
by Happy Dickfart
Summary: Ash loves Misty more than anything, but he doesn't have the courage to tell her. That is, until she finds out by accident. Read and review! My self-esteem depends on it.
1. Chapter 1

Love Me Dearly, by Di-chan

Ash, Misty, and Brock were walking through the woods one afternoon, and Ash's heart was pounding through his chest. He just realized that he was deeply in love with Misty and he had to tell somebody, so he said "I uh have to go to the bathroom" and ran into the bushes with his Pikachu.

"Pikapi?" said Pikachu, bewildered at its trainer's sudden irrational outburst. Ash whipped out his dong and jerked it.

"Oh Pikachu, please give me some privacy. And don't let Misty find out."

"Find out what, Ash?" said Misty, walking in on Ash jackin' it.

"I-it's not what it looks like!" said Ash, tucking his manhood away. "I-I got a bugbite!"

"It's OK, Ash. I know you're in love with me," said Misty, taking off her shirt. Ash looked at her bazongas like DAYUM and grabbed his gurl by the hips.

"Oh Misty, I love you. I love you more than life itself. Say you'll make love to me."

"Oh yes! Yes!" said Misty, and she pulled down her short shorts and rode his sausage while he sucked on them tiddies, and the two lovers came in unison.

"Oh Ash, I love you," said Misty.

"I love you, too, Misty. Will you marry me?"

to be continue

you have to review and tell me what you think or you'll never know misty's answer. I want 30 reviews by sunday or you can gon fuck yourselfs


	2. Chapter 2

Love Me Dearly, by Di-chan

"Misty, say you'll marry me and that we'll be together forever," said Ash, still on one knee.

"Oh Ash," said Misty with tears in her eyes. "Of course I'll mar-"

But before she could get the words out, Team Rocket showed up to steal Pikachu!

"Prepare for trouble."

"Make it double."

"To protect the world from devastation."

"To unite all peoples within our nation."

"To denounce the evils of truth and love."

"To extend our reach to the stars..."

Ash pulled out a blow horn and an ear-splitting HUUUYYYHHH sounded from it.

"What the fuck, guys?" said Ash. "I'm trying to propose to my girl, and just as she was going to say yes you fucking interrupted and ruined my big moment. This is the worst thing you fucking bitch ass cocksuckers have ever done!"

"Hey, twerp. We're Team Rocket," said Jessie, who pulled out a gun.

"No one interrupts Team Rocket," said James, who also pulled out a gun.

"Daaaaat's right," said Meowth, who pulled out an Uzi.

to be continue

i know i sed if i didn't get 30 reviews by sunday that you could go fuck yourselfs and i still mean that but i was bored and updated it anyway aren't i nice? so you better be nice back and give me at least 50 reviews for ch 2 or else and only positive reveews because flames get me all butthurt and no swearing or i'll tell my mom on u guys 


	3. Chapter 3

Love Me Dearly, by Di-chan

"Pikachu, use thunder butt," said Ash, and lightning exploded from Pikachu's pikapoo.

"Looks like guns aren't very effective," said Jessie.

"I guess we're the butt of the joke once more," said James.

"These buns puns are the cat's Meowth," said Meowth.

"Wobbuffet!" said Wobbuffet.

"LOOKS LIKE TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAIN-wobbuffet... ting..."

"Yay! Ash defeated those fucking fuckers," said Misty, twerking in her short shorts. "Let's get this party LIT, muthafuckas."

And the DJ dropped a sick beat, and a rave started in the woods. Everybody who's anybody showed up, including alll 298347592384759273458236458273954 Nurse Joys and Officer Jennys. Rick Sanchez shit on the floor. Pikachu cast thunder butt and fireworks appeared in the sky. All was well.

Snape watched the whole thing.

to be corntinued

y'all fucking suck. i h8 u! lololol jk i need reviews please wah


	4. Chapter 4

Love Me Dearly, by Di-chan

After all the stank ass hoes and GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAKs of the Pokemon world disappeared and slithered away, Ash, Misty and Brock continued on their Pokemon journey like nothing ever happened.

Except the most important thing, duh.

"Oh, look at this a bootiful diomand ring," said Misty, showing it off to all the Birdiemons and the Beedrills.

"Don't you think you guys rushed into this a bit?" Brock asked.

"Fuck you, Brock!" Ass bellowed. "You're just jealous. Why don't you want us to be happy?!"

"Yeah, Borck. You're supposed to be our friend, Arceus damn you!" Misty chagrined.

"All right. All right. Sheesh," said Brock. Then he turned to the television with tears in his eyes. "Ladies. I need a girlfriend and you're the most beautiful one. I swear! SOMEBODY PLEASE LOVE ME."

Meanwhile, Tracey crawled out of his own ass to draw a picture of Professor Oak's sleeping face. Too bad he missed the rave. He wasn't invited anyway. Neither was Toad. Toad is a piece of shit.

ter be connedtinued

omi GAWD you guys will not buhleeve the shit that gone done gone down. so like i was just chillding with my girls, right, and some guy walks up to me. he wus like fat and bearfded and i'm not into that, but like no one wants to date me because i don't kneoew they just don't lknoew what a niec person i am i guess

so like hes talking to me and its obviesou that he likes me and i'm going to date him because nobody likes me anyway so why not?

so i text him i say hey wanna chill and you know what he told me?

he told me ash is 10 and him and misty will never meant to be

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT!?

so i like went to his house banging and screamin on his door and you know wha ? he fuckin sprayed bug spray in MY EYES and told me fif i ever cum to his house again he'll roll me into trafifc like? RUDE RUDE

so you all need to give me 200 revies because i,m sad and my eyeballs hurt and my butt itches


	5. Chapter 5

Love Me Dearly, by Di-chan

So Ass Ketchup wake up the next morn with his bride to be in his arms. It's his wedding day! But first, before he can be a proper husband and father, he has to find all 893284579283475 types of pokemon in the pokemon world and ketch um all.

"This here's a Rhydon," said Ash to the camera, in an Australian accent. "And I'm gonna get in there, and stick my thumb right in 'is butthole. That should really piss 'im off."

"Oh Ash, do be careful," said Misty, rubbing her pregnant belly. "It's our wedding today, and our baby is due any minute."

"You're both ten," said Brock. "I'm out of here. This is sick." And so Brock left.

Meanwhile, as Ash was sneaking up on Rhydon with his thumb, Tracey appeared out of the woods.

"Oh!" he said. "I have to sketch this!"

"Not you again!" said Misty. "Wait, who are you again?"

Her water broke before he even had a chance to answer.

to be coontinued

y'all so fucking butthurt with your flanes if u so good at writing write you owb damn fic ain't nobody got time for you. as for everyone else thxk u for sopportubg my storee you have good taste pokeship forever and i want 3000 reviews this time ok?


	6. Chapter 6

Love Me Dearly, by Di-chan

It was Ash's first big Chansey to prove that he could Beedrill the very best father, like no one ever was. He Weedled his way out of that one big time, when Tracey Marshstomped his way to the hospital with the fair Misty in his arms, where she would lay on Cottenee sheets and Spewpa her very first baby out of her glistening Cloyster.

"Oh no that Arceus damn fool did not just cuck me!" said Ash, flexing his muscles. He was gonna Sawk and Throh Tracey. He was gonna Machop him in the Voltorbs, then he was gonna Machoke his Clefable ass into a Gengar. Then he would Incineroar him in a Dutch oven and Swalot him, which would of course lead him to Exploud his bowels and Pukumuku, because cannibalism is wrong. Still. Fuck that guy.

"Wobbuffet!" said Wobbuffet.

to Combee Charizardtinued

 **A** n:

a chip off the old block a clean slate a dark and stormy night a far cry a fine kettle of fish a good/kind soul a loose cannon a pain in the neck/butt a penny saved is a penny earned a tough row to hoe a word to the wise ace in the hole ace up his sleeve add insult to injury afraid of his own shadow against all odds air your dirty laundry all fun and games all in a day's work all talk, no action all thumbs all your eggs in one basket all's fair in love and war all's well that ends well almighty dollar American as apple pie an axe to grind another day, another dollar armed to the teeth as luck would have it as old as time as the crow flies at my wits end avoid like the plague

 **B**

babe in the woods back against the wall back in the saddle back to square one back to the drawing board bad to the bone badge of honor bald faced liar banging your head against a brick wall ballpark figure baptism by fire bark is worse than her bite barking up the wrong tree bat out of hell be all and end all beat a dead horse beat around the bush bee in her bonnet been there, done that beggars can't be choosers behind the eight ball bend over backwards benefit of the doubt bent out of shape best thing since sliced bread bet your bottom dollar better half better late than never better mousetrap better safe than sorry between a rock and a hard place beyond the pale bide your time big as life big fish in a small pond big cheese big man on campus bigger they are the harder they fall bird in the hand birds and the bees bird's eye view birds of a feather flock together bite the bullet bite the dust bit the hand that feeds you bitten off more than he can chew black as coal black as pitch black as the ace of spades blast from the past bleeding heart blessing in disguise blind ambition blind as a bat blind leading the blind blood is thicker than water blood sweat and tears blow off steam blow your own horn blushing bride boils down to bone to pick bored to tears bored stiff bottomless pit boys will be boys bright and early brings home the bacon broad across the beam broken record bull by the horns bull in a china shop burn the midnight oil burning the candle at both ends burning question burst your bubble bury the hatchet busy as a bee by hook or by crook

 **C**

call a spade a spade called onto the carpet calm before the storm can of worms can't cut the mustard can't hold a candle to case of mistaken identity cat got your tongue caught in the crossfire caught red-handed caught with his/her pants down checkered past chip on his/her shoulder chomping at the bit cleanliness is next to godliness clear as a bell clear as mud close to the vest cock and bull story cold shoulder come hell or high water cost a king's ransom cost/paid an arm and a leg count your blessings crack of dawn crash course creature comforts cross that bridge when you come to it cry her eyes out cry like a baby cry me a river crystal clear curiosity killed the cat cut and dried cut through the red tape cut to the chase cute as a bugs ear cute as a button cute as a puppy cuts to the quick

 **D**

dark before the dawn day in, day out dead as a doornail devil is in the details dime a dozen divide and conquer dog and pony show dog days dog eat dog dog tired don't burn your bridges don't count your chickens before they're hatched don't look a gift horse in the mouth don't rock the boat don't step on anyone's toes don't take any wooden nickels down and out down at the heels down in the dumps down on his/her luck down the hatch down to earth draw the line dressed to kill dressed to the nines drives me up the wall dull as dishwater dyed in the wool

 **E**

eagle eye easy as pie eat your heart out eat your words enough to piss off the Pope ear to the ground early bird catches the worm earn his/her keep easier said than done easy as 1-2-3 easy as pie eleventh hour even the playing field every dog has its day every fiber of my being everything but the kitchen sink eye for an eye eyes in the back of her head

 **F**

facts of life fair weather friend fan the flames fair weather friend fall by the wayside feast or famine feather in his cap feather your nest few and far between fifteen minutes of fame filthy vermin fine kettle of fish fish out of water fishing for a compliment fit as a fiddle fit the bill fit to be tied flat as a pancake flip your lid flog a dead horse fly by night fly the coop follow your heart for all intents and purposes for the birds for what it's worth force of nature force to be reckoned with forgive and forget fox in the henhouse free and easy free as a bird fresh as a daisy full steam ahead fun in the sun

 **G**

garbage in, garbage out get a kick out of get a leg up get down and dirty get his/her back up get the lead out get to the bottom of get your feet wet gets my goat gilding the lily give and take go against the grain go for broke go him one better go the extra mile go with the flow goes without saying good as gold good deed for the day good things come to those who wait good time was had by all greek to me green thumb green-eyed monster growing like a weed grist for the mill

 **H**

hair of the dog hand to mouth happy as a clam hasn't a clue have a nice day have high hopes haven't got a row to hoe have the last laugh head honcho hear a pin drop heard it through the grapevine heart's content hem and haw high and dry high and mighty high as a kite hit paydirt hold your horses hold your tongue hold your head up high hold your own honest as the day is long horse of a different color hot under the collar

 **I**

I beg to differ icing on the cake if the shoe fits if the shoe were on the other foot in a jam in a jiffy in a nutshell in a pig's eye in a pinch in a word in his/her element in hot water in over his/her head in the gutter in the nick of time in the thick of it in this day and age in your dreams it ain't over till the fat lady sings it goes without saying it's a small world it's only a matter of time it takes all kinds it takes one to know one ivory tower

 **J**

Jack of all trades jockey for position jog your memory Johnny-come-lately joined at the hip judge a book by its cover jump down your throat jump in with both feet jump on the bandwagon jump the gun jump to conclusions just a hop, skip, and a jump just the ticket justice is blind

 **K**

keep a stiff upper lip keep an eye on keep it simple, stupid keep the home fires burning keep up with the Joneses keep your chin up keep your fingers crossed kick the bucket kick up your heels kick your feet up kid in a candy store kill two birds with one stone kick his lights out kick the bucket kiss of death knock his block off knock it out of the park knock on wood knock your socks off know him from Adam know the ropes know the score knuckle down knuckle sandwich knuckle under

Cliche list L-Z:

 **L**

labor of love land on your feet lap of luxury last but not least last-ditch effort last hurrah law of the jungle law of the land lay down the law leaps and bounds let sleeping dogs lie letter perfect let the cat out of the bag let the good times roll let your hair down let's talk turkey lick your wounds lies like a rug life's a bitch life's a grind light at the end of the tunnel lighter than a feather lighter than air like clockwork like father like son like taking candy from a baby like there's no tomorrow lion's share live and learn live and let live long and short of it long lost love look before you leap look down your nose look what the cat dragged in looks like death warmed over loose cannon lose your head lose your temper loud as a horn lounge lizard loved and lost low man on the totem pole luck of the draw luck of the Irish

 **M**

make hay while the sun shines make money hand over fist make my day make the best of a bad situation make the best of it make your blood boil man of few words man's best friend mark my words missed the boat on that one moment in the sun moment of glory moment of truth money to burn more power to you more than one way to skin a cat movers and shakers

 **N**

naked as a jaybird naked truth neat as a pin needless to say neither here nor there never look back never say never nip and tuck nip it in the bud no guts, no glory no love lost no pain, no gain no skin off my back no stone unturned no time like the present no use crying over spilled milk nose to the grindstone not a hope in hell not a minute's peace not playing with a full deck not the end of the world not in my backyard not written in stone nothing to sneeze at nothing ventured nothing gained now we're cooking

 **O**

off the top of my head off the wagon off the wall older and wiser older than dirt older than Methuselah old hat on a roll on cloud nine on his/her high horse on pins and needles on the bandwagon on the money on the nose on the rocks on the spot on the tip of my tongue on the wagon on thin ice once bitten, twice shy one bad apple doesn't spoil the bushel one born every minute one brick short one foot in the grave one in a million one red cent only game in town open a can of worms open the flood gates opportunity doesn't knock twice over the hump out of pocket out of sight, out of mind out of the frying pan into the fire out of the woods out on a limb over a barrel

 **P**

pain and suffering panic button par for the course part and parcel party pooper pass the buck patience is a virtue pay through the nose penny pincher perfect storm pig in a poke pile it on pillar of the community pin your hopes on pitter patter of little feet plain as day plain as the nose on your face play by the rules play your cards right playing the field playing with fire pleased as punch plenty of fish in the sea poor as a church mouse pot calling the kettle black pull a fast one pull your punches pulled the wool over his/her eyes pulling your leg pure as the driven snow put one over on you put the pedal to the metal put the cart before the horse put your best foot forward put your foot down

 **Q**

quick as a bunny quick as a lick quick as a wink quick as lightning quiet as a dormouse

 **R**

rags to riches raining buckets raining cats and dogs rank and file reap what you sow red as a beet red herring reinvent the wheel rich and famous rings a bell ripped me off rise and shine road to hell is paved with good intentions rob Peter to pay Paul roll over in the grave rub the wrong way running in circles

 **S**

salt of the earth scared out of his/her wits scared stiff scared to death sealed with a kiss second to none see eye to eye seen the light seize the day set the record straight set your teeth on edge sharp as a tack shoot the breeze shoot for the moon shot in the dark shoulder to the wheel sick as a dog sigh of relief signed, sealed, and delivered sink or swim six of one, half a dozen of another skating on thin ice slept like a log slinging mud slippery as an eel slow as molasses in January smooth as a baby's bottom snug as a bug in a rug sow wild oats spare the rod, spoil the child speak of the devil spilled the beans spinning your wheels spitting image of spoke with relish spring to life stands out like a sore thumb squeaky wheel gets the grease start from scratch stick in the mud still waters run deep stitch in time stop and smell the roses straw that broke the camel's back strong as an ox stubborn as a mule stuff that dreams are made of stuffed shirt sweating blood sweating bullets

 **T**

take a load off take one for the team take the bait take the bull by the horns take the plunge takes one to know one takes two to tango the more the merrier the real deal the real McCoy the red carpet treatment the same old story there is no accounting for taste thick as a brick thick as thieves think outside of the box third time's the charm this day and age this hurts me worse than it hurts you this point in time three sheets to the wind three strikes against him/her throw in the towel tie one on tighter than a drum time and time again time is of the essence tip of the iceberg to each his own to the best of my knowledge toe the line tongue-in-cheek too good to be true too hot to handle too numerous to mention touch with a ten foot pole tough as nails trials and tribulations tried and true trip down memory lane twist of fate two cents worth two peas in a pod

 **U**

ugly as sin under his/her thumb under the counter under the gun under the same roof until the cows come home unvarnished truth up his sleeve up the creek up to his ears in trouble uphill battle upper crust upset the applecart

 **V**

V for victory vain attempt vain effort vanquish the enemy vested interest

 **W**

waiting for the other shoe to drop wakeup call warm welcome watching the clock watch your p's and q's watch your tongue water under the bridge weather the storm went belly up wet behind the ears weed them out week of Sundays what goes around comes around what you see is what you get when it rains, it pours when push comes to shove when the cat's away when the going gets tough, the tough get going white as a sheet whole ball of wax whole hog whole nine yards wild goose chase will wonders never cease? wisdom of the ages wolf at the door words fail me work like a dog world weary worst nightmare wrong side of the bed

 **Y**

yanking your chain yappy as a dog years young you are what you eat you can run, but you can't hide you only live once young and foolish young and vibrant you're the boss

Review if you spot the cliche.


	7. Chapter 7

Love Me Dearly, by Di-chan

Tracey was made it to the hostital, looking at the sad old man betwixt Misty's legs. She hit puberty, so you super pedophiles out there coughtraviscoughofthearthurfandomcough get nothing to jack off to. You can go back to jail now.

Anyway, Misty pushed and screamed. Chansey and Blissey were holding each of her hands, and Wobbuffet was observing the birth, noting that the crown was visible.

"Wo-bbufff- et," said Wobbuffet, doing nothing. When the baby popped out, it made a fart noise.

"It's a boy," said Tracey, holding the little dickens in his arms. He was going to name him Sketchy, for his late grandfather Sketchward, but before he could say a word, Ash kicked down the door with a baseball bat in hand.

"YOU FUCKING FUCK YOU PUT DOWN MY BABY NOW!"

And Ash charged toward Tracey, and swung the bat into his skull so hard it made a satisfying CRACK! The baby flew through the air, and Misty screamed. Thankfully, Chansey caught the baby.

"Don't." WHACK. "You." WHACK. "EVER." WHACK. "Cuck." WHACK. "The." WHACK. "VERY." WHACK. "Best." WHACK. "Like." WHACK. "No." WHACK "One." WHACK. "Ever." WHACK. "WAaaaaaAAAAASSSSSSSSssssSSSSSSS"

"ASH, CALM THE FUCK DOWN," said Misty, covered head to toe in chunks of brain and skull. "You have a son to hold. I named him Pikaduck, after Pikachu and Psyduck."

"Perfect!" said Ash.

"Wobbuffet!" said Wobbuffet.

to be continued or not i don't know

i challenge you dirty motherfuckers to give me -10,000 reviews. Do it. DO IT.


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